Lessons Learned from Looking Back
The first few weeks in January is always an interesting time of year. Many of us have jumped into the New Year full of intentions to make positive changes, both small and large. Health goals, professional goals, and everything in between. The promise of new and different is in the air and it feels good.
At the same time…
I don’t know about you, but after the holidays I still have this nagging desire to snuggle under the covers and drown myself in Netflix. 2021 is gone, but 2022 isn’t fully operational just yet. It’s a weird space. Part of me wants to sprint towards the future and the other part wants to stay where it is comfortable. Change management experts, like William Bridges, call this period the neutral zone and describe it as the time between the old reality and sense of identity and a new one. I call it the “I have no muscle memory yet for my new routines and it’s exhausting” zone. I need a little push of inspiration. Maybe you do too?
This week I found some inspo by revisiting the very first article I wrote last year. My first Occasional Musing! At the time, the theme of new beginnings was on my mind and the article was an exercise in looking backwards to capture the lessons that 2020 taught me. I didn’t realize it then, but I see now that the process of creating my list served another vital purpose. It was an outline of progress. A highlight reel so to speak.
When people see how far they have traveled or how much they have grown…it can breathe life and oxygen into those tired “just leave me alone with my Netflix” muscles. Recognizing what you have learned along the journey doesn’t magically make it easy to push through the neutral zone. But it does make it a bit easier because it’s an opportunity to recognize that momentum is there. Improvement is visible. You’ve made some progress already. You aren’t starting at zero. Forward motion has been happening. Maybe you start to think and believe…I can do this!
As I’ve mentioned in my previous Musings, I also firmly believe there is tremendous value in taking a strategic pause, especially for anyone in a leadership role. In a world where responsibilities are always added to your plate, slowing down in order to go fast is essential to good problem solving and critical thinking. It creates space for intentional actions, being curious, quality over quantity, and a focus on priorities with the biggest impact. Who doesn’t want more of that? Or should I say, who doesn’t need more of that?
So here we are – my very own progress bar that ended up being just the motivation I needed. Anyone else picture the XP bar in World of Warcraft when you are about to level up? Ding! My list of 2021 lessons learned:
1. Run your own race. Starting my own business and having the opportunity to coach leaders doing the same, reinforced the notion that comparison will quickly kill confidence, a sense of progress, and a host of other things. Focus on you, what matters most to your product and your teams, and run your own pace. Looking around at others only pulls you off track.
2. Minimize unhealthy escapism. Getting rid of Twitter was a game changer! My overall happiness improved measurably.
3. Storytelling is powerful. It helps connect and create clarity. Leaders take note: a good story, especially one that is personal, can inspire those around you. Plus, getting connected to my own story provided me another source of motivation in moving towards my goals.
4. Practice Positive Intelligence. This book and the free assessment that goes with it helped me quiet my very harsh inner critic. As an added bonus, it has been a significant unlock for a lot of my coaching clients. I can’t recommend it enough.
5. No one has it all figured out. And I mean no one. Despite what you see on the outside, every person is dealing with their own demons or insecurities. This leads back to lesson #1.
6. Take one extra PTO day after your vacation. Somehow that one day to unpack, do laundry, and chill makes a world of difference. I don’t know why I never did this before.
7. Put back your shopping cart. Don’t leave it next to your car. The little things matter now more than ever. Small acts of kindness and leaving things better than how you found them make a difference to our world. Do your part in taking care of this place, your company, and each other.
8. Vision boards work. I hate to admit it, but I used to frequently poo-poo the idea of a vision board. I was so wrong. It’s powerful to see a visual representation of what you want. A big thank you to the Hudson Institute for waking me up to that.
9. Discover healthy diversions. For me, jigsaw puzzles are soothing as hell, especially when you see crazy stuff happening all over the world. Somehow the small act of finding the right pieces gives me a temporary feeling of control when things feel uncontrollable. Exercise and meditation continue to be my go-to’s here too.
10. If I don’t clean up as I go, there will be a bigger mess later. Invest the required time and energy up front. It always costs more if you wait. For example, managers, this is your nudge to deal with that person who is under performing now to avoid a bigger and more expensive problem later.
11. Writing feels good. It’s a form of expression I didn’t know I craved. Plus, it’s rewarding to share things I deeply care about to help strengthen my “it’s ok to be vulnerable” muscle.
12. Girlfriends are my force multiplier. I am so grateful to have a full tribe of women that listen, care, and lift me up. Give gratitude to the community of folks that help you be better.
13. New = good. From small things like trying new recipes or listening to new music to big things, such as traveling to new places and launching a new business. Experimenting and exploring things I have never done before activates my brain in healthy ways. I also like that spending time out of my comfort zone released some sticky internal inertia that had built up after so many years at the same company.
14. Coaching is the fuel for my fire. Seeing something meaningful click – that moment of insight or self-discovery – is my new addiction. To keep learning how to do it well and invest in myself, later this year I’m heading back to the Hudson Institute to earn their coaching certification. Woot!
15. When you start looking for leadership lessons, they are everywhere. Companies in crisis are always an easy place to see leadership lessons (both good and bad) in action, and oof, there was a lot of that this past year. But also, so many moments from movies, games, TV shows, and sports (just look at coach Nick Saban after Alabama’s loss to Georgia on Monday night) bring rich leadership lessons to light.
Sidenote: I recently had the most fun re-watching all of The Great British Baking Show episodes (yes, all of them) and discovered a lot of leadership gems that will definitely show up in a future article. You’ve been warned. 😊
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you have enjoyed my Occasional Musings over the past year, there is now an option to subscribe on my website. No spam. No heavy marketing. Just new Occasional Musings in your inbox whenever I get inspired to write them. I also encourage you to take a pause, look backward, and create your own list of gratitude and learnings. I dare you to not be inspired by what you discover.