Life Lessons Inspired by MTV (kind of)
Warning: This post happily contains many 80’s music references.
MTV is 40 years old!
40.
Years.
Old.
How did that happen? Just yesterday I was desperately trying to replicate the dance moves of Madonna, wishing I could sing like Pat Benatar, and daydreaming about being the next Martha Quinn. Memories are flooding back and I’m silently cringing at myself and all my teenage awkwardness. It got me thinking and reflecting. What life lessons would I want to tell the girl with posters of The Outsiders all over her room and a deep love for The Go-Go's?
Be kind to others, and especially to yourself.
Start each day with gratitude. Actively look for things that you are grateful for.
The voice in your head isn’t always correct. You are worthy. You are good enough. Full stop.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, especially at your wedding. It’s the marriage that really matters.
At work, don’t tolerate the brilliant jerks. At their best, they make you feel bad about yourself. At their worst, they create an environment where disrespect is normalized, and that my friend, is a slippery slope that creates more damage than his or her brilliance could ever bring to the team.
Your girlfriends are EVERYTHING. Treasure those relationships because they’ll expand your heart.
Be curious. Explore the world. Don’t let what scares you dictate your actions.
Give your mom a break. She’s doing the best she can, and you can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
Mark Twain said, “comparison is the death of joy”. A world of yes to this. See #1 and #3.
Things won’t always go the way you want. You will experience great loss and there’s no way to avoid it. Ask for help and know that there’s no shortage of people that love you.
Janine is your touchstone. Being her big sister and navigating life with her will be one of your greatest joys.
Rumi said, “your heart knows the way, run in that direction.” Trust your instincts. You’ve stumbled anytime you didn’t listen to them.
There’s something to this meditation thing. It will give you space to care for yourself.
Playing volleyball will teach you so much about being a leader and teammate, and about how to lose and how to win.
Maya Angelou has this awesome quote: “Most people don’t grow up. It’s too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older.” Don’t just get older. Do the work of growing up. This means falling down, getting back up, taking responsibility, being vulnerable, loving, losing, being brave to love again. Rinse and repeat.
What would you tell your teenage self? I encourage you to noodle on what you might say. Personally, it’s been a fun exercise for me. I realized that I have more wisdom than I thought at the same time Cyndi Lauper started serenading me with Time after Time. That was a moment!
While writing this piece, something else occurred to me as 80’s music videos played in the background. Intentionally reflecting in this way brought to light some important leadership lessons I thought might be worth sharing.
First, there is value in taking a pause and you don’t have to wait until MTV has another birthday to do it. Prioritize time to look back and reflect, make new connections, and apply lessons learned. When I was working a “normal” job, there was very little space for reflection. No time to just think. Often, I was the opposite of intentional. I was reactive. Any of this sound familiar? Work can be greedy. There is value in a strategic pause sometimes – the old adage of “going slow to go fast” comes to mind. I should have done that more and my team would have been better for it.
I swear this playlist is getting eerie and it knows what I’m writing about. Spandau Ballet just showed up and is now crooning True at me.
Second, just the act of sharing something that means something to you is a significant leadership moment. So much vulnerability required. For a while, the idea of sharing these personal thoughts filled me with dread. And I am talking about the level of pure dread you feel when you are about to look at your email after being on a long vacation. Dread with a capital D! I did it though. As a leader, let your team see you. Your values, the things you care about, what worries you, etc. in whatever way feels appropriate to you. Embrace your inner Ted Lasso and recognize the positive impact that only that level of authenticity can provide.
Van Halen’s Panama just came on! That’s my cue to wrap this up. OMG, how I loved that band. Teenage me is about to rock out now.
Until next time, a few questions I encourage you to ponder: How will you prioritize a strategic pause to reflect? How could operating with more intention benefit your goals, project, or organization and what difference could that make for you and the people around you? How will you show your team or your peers a little more of…you? What would the impact be for your relationships at work, your ability to influence, and levels of trust?